There was an empty chair in my favorite place on campus tonight. For some reason I didn’t sit in it, although the breeze wanted me to. For some reason I needed a man to fill in the chair, as if it was a throne where only a man can be sat in. Well, there was no man around, or at least no man who wanted to sit in a throne that was only a product of my imagination. There were people around, but yet, there was only me who wanted to feel the breeze alone, sitting in a chair at this meaningless corner on campus, but yet I couldn’t.
My entire life I have seen men who filled the empty chairs. In the society I grew up, and as I have realized not only (-insert-U.S-2016-election-here-) there is always a need for a MAN to take charge; to provide; to be strong physically, mentally, and emotionally; there is always a need for a man to be more than a man, to be some kind of a God, who will be the savior of his parents and the hero of a woman. Many men lose themselves, or never find their true self, due to the pressure of growing some balls and being man enough. I have never properly understood what “growing some balls” means, maybe because I cannot grow some of my own (literally), or maybe because it doesn’t really make sense. However, I have used it myself as well, and I believed in it, although now that I understand the pressure it causes to those it is used upon, I highly regret it.
You don’t understand. You are a girl!
Every time I hear the famous statement “You don’t understand. You are a girl!”, a thunderstorm pierces my body into anger and contempt, whether it comes from the opposite gender or not. I used to believe that those words always showed the men’s entitlement towards women- in the sense that the weaker gender cannot swallow the truths of this life, but that is not always the case. I have heard the above statement this year more than I have my entire life. This made me see it in a different angle, and understand when a guy really feels stuck in a life that he doesn’t want to be in and when it shows his entitled primacy. The trick to know which one is the case, is to simply ask ” Why don’t you show me? Maybe I do understand!”. At the end of the conversation you will find out whether in front of you there is another douche-bag or an eye opening realization:
PATRIARCHY DOES NOT SPARE MEN EITHER!
From all the guys who have poured out their “wisdom” on me by trying to mansplain that a little girl like me shouldn’t talk, or doesn’t understand, surprisingly some of them weren’t trying to show their supremacy but rather my lacking of understanding on the fact that men are victims of the society as well. I will illustrate this thought by taking the examples of the four individuals of the opposite gender that made me see through patriarchy and realize how it is a two edged sword…
To be continued…